Rivers of Light

I hear bells ringing that no one has shaken,
inside "love" there is more joy than we know of,
rain pours down,
although the sky is clear of clouds,
there are whole rivers of light...
                                                       - Kabir

Why is it in winter, light is so much in my mind's eye. The mystics equate love and light and why not. This image of Kabir's "rivers of light" pouring through the sky to earth is majestic. It's so comforting to rest in this place of "bells ringing that on one has shaken."

The morning silence brings a deep sense of Presence and I let go of all the ways my mind keeps me small. I move inside love to find that joy ~ timeless, ageless, just being...

Thoughts are like actors

Thoughts of themselves have no substance; let them arise and pass away unheeded. Thoughts will not take form of themselves, unless they are grasped by the attention; if they are ignored, there will be no appearing and no disappearing.
                                                                            – Ashvaghosha

I remember when I first heard the Shakespeare quote about being actors on the stage of life. I was in high school English class and it really struck me in a way that not many things had previously. As a small child I did have several experiences of feeling so open and spacious, so filled with light and curious about what life is and what my place in it might be.

Often as we grow up, we lose that natural curiosity and fall into our roles on the stage of life without questioning why. We become quite expert at playing our part and the emotions we experience become so real as we attach to them.

In meditation, we detach from our thoughts and emotions and become the audience. To continue the analogy of life being a play, our thoughts and emotions are the actors. Like actors and actresses everywhere, they love a responsive audience. But if no one shows up to watch the play, they give up and close the show. If we can allow the emotions and thoughts to be there without responding to them, they will soon dissolve and the mind will grow stronger and more one-pointed.  The more we practice meditation, the easier it is to see emotions and thoughts for what they really are and to know who we are.

Gratitude

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing 

that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. 

And because all things have contributed to your advancement, 

you should include all things in your 

gratitude.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

This morning as i sit by the window, I am grateful. The moon is clearly winking at me as it sails slowing through the morning sky. The little dogwood is naked except for three thistle socks lovingly providing food for all the finches. Goldfinches, Purple finches, House Finches, all busy pecking at the seed and vying for a place on the feeders. 

In the quiet of the morning, I am grateful for each moment. I've not posted for a long time and it just feels like time to begin again. I welcome myself back.

The Miracle

I have arrived.

That is my insight when I breathe in and make two steps.

I have arrived, I have arrived.

Peacefully, gently, but very determined.

We have been running for all our life, it is now time to stop.

If you are not capable of stopping,

how can you enjoy touching the earth with your feet?

The miracle is not to walk on water or on fire,

the miracle is to walk on earth,

and any one of us can perform this miracle.

The miracle is to walk on earth,

that is a statement made by the Zen master Lin Chi, or Rinzai.

If you can establish yourself in the here and the now,

and make a step and touch the wonders of life in the here and the now, you are performing the miracle.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

This is the perfect time of year to remember to slow down. We can become so busy and caught in the hectic pace of the holidays that we forget the miracle of touching the earth with each step. The wonder of life is all around us! Miracles are everywhere!

Why not take a moment to just notice the gentle flow of the breath and choose to feel the miracle of being alive?

It's My Birthday!

Late Ripeness

Not soon, as late as the approach of my ninetieth year,

I felt a door opening in me and I entered

the clarity of early morning.

One after another my former lives were departing,

like ships, together with their sorrow.

And the countries, cities, gardens, the bays of seas

assigned to my brush came closer,

ready now to be described better than they were before.

I was not separated from people,

grief and pity joined us.

We forget -- I kept saying -- that we are all children of the King.

For where we come from there is no division

into Yes and No, into is, was, and will be.

We were miserable, we used no more than a hundredth part

of the gift we received for our long journey.

Moments from yesterday and from centuries ago -

a sword blow, the painting of eyelashes before a mirror

of polished metal, a lethal musket shot, a caravel

staving its hull against a reef -- they dwell in us,

waiting for a fulfillment.

I knew, always, that I would be a worker in the vineyard,

as are all men and women living at the same time,

whether they are aware of it or not.

By Czeslaw Milosz

(1911-2004)

Sacred Silence

Silence is indeed sacred and many poets, philosophers, teachers speak of it. I like to think of silence as a great womb birthing all of us and all things into being.
I could fill a book with profound quotes. But these three will suffice for today...

Silence is our real nature.

What we are fundamentally is only silence.

Silence is free from beginning and end.

It was before the beginning of all things.

It is causeless.

Its greatness lies in the fact

that it simply is. 
~ Jean Klein ~

Silence is like a cradle holding our endeavors and our will; 

a silent spaciousness sustains us in our work and at the same time connects us to larger worlds that, in the busyness of our daily struggle to achieve, we have not yet investigated. Silence is the soul's break for freedom.   ~ David Whyte

The silence of a quiet mind is the essence of that beauty. Because it is silent and because it is not the plaything of thought, then in that silence there comes that which is indestructible, which is sacred. In the coming of that which is sacred then life becomes sacred, your life becomes sacred, our relationship becomes sacred, everything becomes sacred.    ~ Krishnamurti

Mothers

What is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
That which is you dwells above the mountain and roves with the wind.
It is not a thing that crawls into the sun for warmth 
or digs holes into darkness for safety,
But a thing free, a spirit that envelops the earth and moves in the ether.
~Kahlil Gibran ~ 

Another mother has passed on ~ into the great mystery. My lifelong friend, Douy called yesterday to tell me. She asked that I attend the funeral in her stead as she is halfway across the country and cannot return.

What is it about certain people that when we meet there is a "knowing?" It is rare indeed to find others to whom we can so entirely be ourselves. People with whom we are so comfortable it feels safe to just be.

It is a testament to Evelyn that she provided the space for Douy to feel safe, accepted, and loved through all the years since they met. In high school, over 40 years ago, Douy needed a mother's love and acceptance. She found it in two women, both mothers. Her boy friend's and her best friend's.

My mother also opened her heart to Douy in those days so long ago. The amazing thing is that once opened, their hearts continued to hold and nurture her. Time moves us through the stages of our lives, but relationships sparked by knowing are timeless.

Women from that generation, born before the Great Depression and young adults during the Great War (WWII) are slowing passing on from our lives. Evelyn was 92. Although I didn't know her, I sense she was a great lady.

I am honored to be touched by the spirit and energy of these women. I hold them and Douy and all of their loved ones in my heart ~ that vast open spaciousness out of which all arises and dissolves.