My Life...

"I want my life to be my calling. I don't want to waste another moment. Every choice, every conversation, every breath. I want them done with awareness. I devote my life to being awake and awakening others."

                                                                               Laurel Schwartz

This has become my mantra. You know that mental loop endlessly repeating itself over and over inside your head. I have had so many different loops during my life and most not particularly helpful or encouraging. But this one is different. This one rings out to every cell of my being. It makes me smile. It reminds me life is perfect in every moment. It brings me into a deep understanding of life and an appreciation of everyone I encounter.

The Buddha said suffering is evitable. It is simply part of the experience of being alive on this earth. There are three kinds of Buddhists: ones that wish to eliminate all suffering and enjoy life; those who want to go beyond the suffering of this world and reach nirvana; and the third group who devote each breath to relieving the suffering of all beings. They understand how interconnected we all are. They know that as long as one being continues to suffer, we all suffer.

I'm not so full of myself to think I've reached this third elevated state, but I do sincerely want to be awake in each moment. More importantly, I want to use every breath, every conversation to offer what I have experienced to others.

Mantras are sacred sounds vibrating in ways that change the structure of your cells. They provide a deep tune-up and help dissolve old patterns of thought and being that no longer serve you. This new mental loop I've been repeating isn't a classic Sanskrit mantra, but I'd like to believe it is my sacred sound carrying me into a place where I can truly serve myself and others.

  

Perfect at Every Moment

The world is not imperfect or slowly
evolving along a long path to perfection.

No, it is perfect at every moment
It seems to me that everything that exists is good--
death as well as life,
sin as well as folly.

Everything is necessary,
everything needs only agreement,
my assent, my loving understanding;
then all is well with me
and nothing can harm me.

~~Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Lately, I have found myself vacillating between opposites, feeling as if my small boat is rocking madly on very rough water. This can be disconcerting, but fortunately, I have not remained too long in any one state. 

Several days last week old aches and pains revisited bringing some discomfort and psychological resistance. It was interesting to become the observer, watch the experience of my body and mind, and let go of all expectations. Nothing magical happened, but eventual the pain dissolved. 

I dreamed about the "painbody" Eckhart Tolle describes in his book, The Power of Now, and wondered how much of my discomfort might be attached to this energetic feature of my being. Tolle contends there is an energy form of emotional pain accumulated from life experiences not faced and accepted in the moment they happened. These old emotions can be triggered and new painful situations occur. So, I'll continue to be the observer and life will reveal its mysteries when the time is right.

I visited a friend who has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks and past memories of family members struggling with similar health issues began to haunt me. I recognized my attachment to wanting everything to be "okay" and I let go. Thoughts trickled into my consciousness like water slowly dripping from an old faucet.

This quote from Siddhartha reminds me that I am okay. Everything is as it is supposed to be. More than that "everything that exists is good." I just need to come into the understanding that the universe doesn't make mistakes. The universe is perfect in each moment.

Everything truly is necessary and perhaps, it is only our limited perceptions that bring doubt and judgment. As I look back on my life, it is clear that everything has its place and its time. All is well.

Awakening

The timeless non-state cannot be achieved because 

the mind cannot evolve towards it. 

The mind can only bring you to the threshold. 

Awakening comes unexpectedly when you do not wait for it, 

when you live in not-knowing. 

Only then are you available.

~ Jean Klein ~

Jean Klein was a wise, awakened being who never ceased reminding us to live in "not-knowing." This is the place that is ripe and juicy, ready without waiting to open to all that is. Our minds want something certain, stable and secure, but this is not the way of the universe. It is not the path we have chosen. 

But we do, indeed, choose each step of the way to either hold on or let go.

A Summer Day

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan,  and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper I mean—

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention,  how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me,  what else should I have done?

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

This beloved poem by Mary Oliver is known by just about everyone who reads poetry at all. It's one of my favorites and one I've used many times at the end of my Yoga class with teens. It renews my wonder and gratitude each time I share it. Nature is just so amazing! Who did make that grasshopper?

This poem reminds me that I do have a say in the planning of my life. Knowing how to pay attention reveals the perfection of this world and reminds us that we, too, are perfect. If we can come into the still point, we can know with our heart which plan is right for us. We can come from that deep sense of joy ~ our true self ~ and allow each moment to simply unfold.

Not a Grief of Joy

This we have now

is not imagination.

This is not a grief or joy.

Not a judging state,

or an elation,

or sadness.

Those come and go. 

THIS is the PRESENCE... that doesn't.

~RUMI~

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks

Last night was Yoga Nidra. I love to offer this class.Yoga Nidra is the most profound way to connect with who you are that I have ever known. I have been practicing Yoga Nidra for about 15 years. 


What is Yoga Nidra? It is an ancient tantric practice of deep relaxation and meditation. Several techniques work together to take the practitioner through the different layers (koshas, in Sanskrit) of the body until the deepest core of your being is found. As you practice this, you begin to let go of all the identities you think you are and come into your true nature. 


Here is the place of great healing; the place of wholeness. This is who you truly are ~ the PRESENCE that is always here.