Birthdays...

The Swan
This laboring through what is still undone,
as though, legs bound, we hobbled along the way,
is like the awkward walking of the swan.

And dying-to let go, no longer feel
the solid ground we stand on every day-
is like anxious letting himself fall

into waters, which receive him gently
and which, as though with reverence and joy,
draw back past him in streams on either side;
while, infinitely silent and aware,
in his full majesty and ever more
indifferent, he condescends to glide.
                                                Rainer Maria Rilke

This year as I celebrate my birthday I am grateful to have discovered the ability to let go. Although I so often feel I am hobbling along, I also know the majesty of letting go into the stream of life.

Rilke, with a magnificent gift of words, describes the swan in a way I can so easily picture myself. I look forward to this next year with joy and reverence, with awe and wonder, with contentment and compassion.

Letting go...

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
~ Herman Hesse 

I'm struggling to let go of things in my basement, in my closets, in my garage. I don't know why it is such a difficult task. Some of these have been packed in boxes for years and are smashed beyond all usefulness. Still, I hesitate...

Last week I filled the trunk of my Prius with clothes I no longer use or need. Now a second load of unwanted items waits patiently in the trunk to be dropped off at the Good Will. Before taking them, I thought I might be able to find a few more things. So I'm off to the basement. It's a very brave thing to do. Basements can be so overwhelming.

One of the things I love about the process of de-cluttering is discovering memories attached to the things you find. I found a collage of photos this morning taken about twenty-five years ago. It made me smile to see my 5-year old daughter with her Indian headdress hiding behind a bush in our front yard or wrapped in a wispy shawl of mine, smiling mischievously. So, now instead of letting go completely, I want to take this to my daughter. She may want it, who knows...

For now I'm moving on to another closet. The basement holds far too many memories for me to sort through today. Besides, the sun is shining so brightly, it's just a shame to cloister myself in the basement. All of those boxes will be waiting for another day, more cloudy or rainy or dreary than today.

What Will Matter

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.                                        ~Michael Josephson

Not to be morbid, but I have been thinking about death lately. I'm not sick, depressed, or obsessive; it's more curiosity. I mean you come to a point in your life when mortality is very real. So much different than contemplating death in your 20's or even 30's. Oh, I've always been aware that life will end; it's unavoidable. But lately, it's more this feeling that every moment counts; that living in integrity with compassion and courage is supremely important.

Living a life that matters is really an inside job. It's about what's going on within me and how my light shines out to everything and everyone I touch. I do believe we choose the life we live and that the choices keep coming in each moment. Not every moment is fun or pleasant, but the way we choose to accept it is indicative of who we are and how we shine.

In the silence...

In the silence
between your heartbeat
bides a summons.
Do you hear it?

Name it if you must,

or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it
is not there?

Leave that which is not,
but appears to be.

Seek that which is,
But is not apparent.
                                 ~ Rumi 

There is nothing quite as wonderful as the silence between heartbeats or breaths. We try to name it, but it doesn't really matter because feeling it, experiencing it, that's what actually counts. Always this silence is found in that which is NOT apparent. 

So I urge you to leave everything behind that appears to be real. Come into the interior space of vastness and wonder ~ into the silence and find everything your heart's desires. 

Grace, Ease and Lightness

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. 

This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them - while they last. 

                                                                               ~Eckhart Tolle

I know this quote is not written in poetic verse, but occasionally the thought touches me in such a way that I want to include it. Here Tolle offers some great advice about surrender. Not easy to do, but actually quite simple. 

To just let go and allow life to unfold is a lifelong practice for me. When I can "be" without struggle or effort, it truly is amazing ~ that state of grace, ease and lightness.

We Are Nothing, the Light is All

From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, 
and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all.

                                                                                               ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every wisdom tradition talks about the light and how life comes from it. We are told that we, too, are made of light. In fact, at my recent Yoga immersion weekend, I learned a chant that has become my favorite mantra: I am light, only light, eternal light.

There is something incredibly comforting as these sounds resonate within me. I find myself repeaing them at the most unusual times. While making dinner, I look out the window at the setting sun and softly chant, "I am light, only light, eternal light." Walking through the grocery store, the words ring gently in my ears. Again, driving to an appointment or returning home, I hear this lovely thought. 

This wisdom has woven itself into the fabric of my being. Engaged in conversation, checking email, writing, weeding the garden, walking our dog, watching television, preparing for sleep ~ whatever the activity, this mantra returns reminding me light shines through us all and we are that light.  

Fresh and Alive

There are two things: to be and to do.

Don't think too much about to do - to be is first. 

To be peace. To be joy. 

And then to do joy, to do happiness - on the basis of being. 

Being fresh. Being peaceful. Being compassionate. 

This is the basic practice.

It's like a person sitting at the foot of a tree. 

The tree does not have to do anything, but the tree is fresh and alive. 

When you are like that tree, sending out waves of freshness, 

you help to calm down the suffering in the other person.

                                              ~ Thich Nhat Hahn  

Last night I was at a meditation with over 50 other people. It was a 

lovely experience. I think what impressed me most was this idea of 

"being." We sat sending out waves of just being. The calm peacefulness 

in that room was palpable. An amazing side effect for me was a deep, 

restful sleep; one the best I've had in years!

I like the image of being like a tree. They are strong and grounded. 

They can endure extremes in the weather and they move gracefully 

with the wind. They have the uncanny ability of bringing joy and 

equanimity to those who gaze upon them with gratitude. Buddha 

found enlightenment under a tree. Mary Oliver, Wendall Berry, Rainer 

Maria Rilke, and many others write beautiful poetry to trees.

Such grace to be like a tree...